I want my country back the way it was last Tuesday

When you see a freight train hurtling toward a baby stroller with its wheel caught in the tracks, do you scream stop! or do you just shrug and look away because hey, these things happen?

I’m no screamer, but I don’t look away either. Especially when the train and baby are actually a clever metaphor for a nation hellbent on destroying itself. It’s not easy to pinpoint where things went wrong but I’ve managed to do so.

I want my country back the way it was last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday I woke up to an America that wasn’t afraid of unseasonably mild weather and the proposition that a man with a “to-do” list could get a lot of errands run. Last Tuesday I stopped at the Quiznos on Fourth Street and tried something new: their Honey Mustard Chicken Signature Sandwich on toasted Rosemary Parmesan bread. And just like that I had a new favorite sandwich. Everywhere I went that day in Last Week’s America people were wearing both a smile and a stiff upper lip, a happy grimace that spoke of our amiable resolve as a nation.

Yesterday the rains came. I wish I could say it was a metaphor, but this relentless gray downpour was as real as it was inconvenient. The mainstream media reported more rain on the way. The apologists trotted out their tired “May flowers” argument and the low reservoir hoaxsters were no doubt dancing in the street. But if you asked The People how they felt, they felt wet. No one likes having rain shoved down his throat.

And so it was with a chill already in the air that I stopped at the Quiznos on Fourth Street to find the door locked, the tables stripped and a sign informing me the store has been relocated to the nearby Montecito Shopping Center. Nearby is a relative term — in this case less than a mile — but last I checked I’m the customer and I decide what is convenient, not a tiny cabal of entrenched Quiznos executives driven by self-interest.

Some might have given up right there. That’s not my style. I drove over to the new location and ordered the same Honey Mustard on Toasted Rosemary Parmesan that had tasted so good last Tuesday. But now there was a perceptible change. The sandwich didn’t taste as good because it hadn’t been toasted. A new Quiznos employee named Treysen forgot to toast it. I’m convinced the only thing “toasted” at the new Quiznos was Treysen. By “toasted” I’m saying he was probably high on marijuana. Last Tuesday I wouldn’t have needed to explain that. Also last Tuesday I didn’t know anyone named Treysen. I liked it better that way.

It’s not just about rain and sandwiches. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that virtually every decision in this new America is being driven by people who didn’t ask your opinion. By people who assume they know better than you on everything from endocrinology to structural engineering. By people who interpreted your silence as disinterest. There’s no better way to break the silence than with rage, and believe me, the braintrust at Quiznos is getting an earful

I’m not going to pretend America was perfect last Tuesday. I just know it was a better place. Now the country is on a slippery slope to pissing me off and I am not afraid to scream.

Useful Links to the Subject

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marxism


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In the No.

From The Power of Positive Thinking to Yes We Can, I have watched the world become a more affirmative place. Those who know me will tell you I’m a longtime supporter of things that are good and nice. Yet it’s entirely possible we’ve lost something in this rush to pleasantness. And that would be the ability to say “no.”

The positive-thinking industry — or Big Yes — is keen to blame the world’s problems on the nay-sayers. It’s the nay-sayers who stomp on dreams. It’s the heroes who refuse to take no for an answer. But they may have it precisely backwards.

I’m not talking about saying no to drugs or a third slice of delicious chocolate cake. I’m talking about saying no to things you don’t want in the first place.

Here’s how it works: at one point and probably dozens of points this week, you will be asked to pick up the ball a colleague keeps dropping, enable a family member’s delusional behavior, accept a friend’s inane political viewpoint as fact, debase yourself for money or join a committee. You will say yes but you won’t mean it. Or you will say maybe and hope it goes away. Or you will say you’ll think about it, but you won’t. Or worse you’ll wake up at three in the morning and think about it. And you’ll be thinking that you should have said no.

No is not obstinate or uncooperative. No is empowering and liberating. And if people don’t like it, set them free. If they come back, tell them no again. Saying no doesn’t make people like you any less. At least not any less than they enjoy a good doormat. And remember, there are a lot of different ways to say no. But they don't really count unless they contain the word "no."

How does no work in my life? When Janeen asked if I liked the idea of painting the kitchen tangerine, I said no. She went ahead and painted it tangerine anyway, but she knew exactly where I stood. When the twins want to put butter on their bacon or play with the oily cloths and frayed electrical wires in the basement, I damn well tell them no. When you tell a child no you give them a gift. The gift of boundaries. Boundaries that make them feel safe, earn you respect and give them something tangible to rebel against as they enter their teens. It may not seem that way when their little faces collapse and the high-pitched shrieking begins, but deep down they really love it that you told them no.

Maybe you have a different view on the subject. Would I like to hear it?

I think you know the answer.

Useful Links to the Subject

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/no

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