I want my country back the way it was last Tuesday

When you see a freight train hurtling toward a baby stroller with its wheel caught in the tracks, do you scream stop! or do you just shrug and look away because hey, these things happen?

I’m no screamer, but I don’t look away either. Especially when the train and baby are actually a clever metaphor for a nation hellbent on destroying itself. It’s not easy to pinpoint where things went wrong but I’ve managed to do so.

I want my country back the way it was last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday I woke up to an America that wasn’t afraid of unseasonably mild weather and the proposition that a man with a “to-do” list could get a lot of errands run. Last Tuesday I stopped at the Quiznos on Fourth Street and tried something new: their Honey Mustard Chicken Signature Sandwich on toasted Rosemary Parmesan bread. And just like that I had a new favorite sandwich. Everywhere I went that day in Last Week’s America people were wearing both a smile and a stiff upper lip, a happy grimace that spoke of our amiable resolve as a nation.

Yesterday the rains came. I wish I could say it was a metaphor, but this relentless gray downpour was as real as it was inconvenient. The mainstream media reported more rain on the way. The apologists trotted out their tired “May flowers” argument and the low reservoir hoaxsters were no doubt dancing in the street. But if you asked The People how they felt, they felt wet. No one likes having rain shoved down his throat.

And so it was with a chill already in the air that I stopped at the Quiznos on Fourth Street to find the door locked, the tables stripped and a sign informing me the store has been relocated to the nearby Montecito Shopping Center. Nearby is a relative term — in this case less than a mile — but last I checked I’m the customer and I decide what is convenient, not a tiny cabal of entrenched Quiznos executives driven by self-interest.

Some might have given up right there. That’s not my style. I drove over to the new location and ordered the same Honey Mustard on Toasted Rosemary Parmesan that had tasted so good last Tuesday. But now there was a perceptible change. The sandwich didn’t taste as good because it hadn’t been toasted. A new Quiznos employee named Treysen forgot to toast it. I’m convinced the only thing “toasted” at the new Quiznos was Treysen. By “toasted” I’m saying he was probably high on marijuana. Last Tuesday I wouldn’t have needed to explain that. Also last Tuesday I didn’t know anyone named Treysen. I liked it better that way.

It’s not just about rain and sandwiches. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that virtually every decision in this new America is being driven by people who didn’t ask your opinion. By people who assume they know better than you on everything from endocrinology to structural engineering. By people who interpreted your silence as disinterest. There’s no better way to break the silence than with rage, and believe me, the braintrust at Quiznos is getting an earful

I’m not going to pretend America was perfect last Tuesday. I just know it was a better place. Now the country is on a slippery slope to pissing me off and I am not afraid to scream.

Useful Links to the Subject

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marxism


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