Where Was I?

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked down to you people and I want to apologize.

I want to apologize, but I can’t. My publicist is drafting a press release and I promised not to preempt her. This is what she does for a living and I’m trying really hard to respect that.

In the past year I’ve learned that The Patronizer is bigger than just one man, even if that man is me. I learned this from a successful Hollywood producer who called last May to ask why are you giving it away for free?

Like most people who question me, he had it all wrong. Patronizer t-shirts, tote bags, wrist bands and fragrances have sold briskly, and if I was giving it away for free then I wouldn’t be receiving micropayments for every Canadian Cialis click-thru on my site.

Still, he pressed a very good point. “You had me at No.” prodco prez told me, referring to my first blog entry. “You created a piece of intellectual property and established a brand. Do you honestly think Blogspot appreciates that? The way I can?”

This guy is a pretty big player himself. You’d recognize his name if you traveled in television circles, which you don’t so I won’t embarrass you by dropping it. His opinion, or “take,” is that the internet has revolutionized entertainment forever. Faster, cheaper, more reactive, better targeted and capable of instant global reach, online media has cut the legs out from old media and the dead weight it’s forced to lug around. Web-based creators, or “content providers” as we’re called, enjoy a freedom almost unimaginable to artists who toiled in the previous paradigm. Fresh and daring voices like mine, which frighten the ancien regime, now dominate the daily discussion.

And when a blogger hits critical mass, as I did last May, the only place left to go is the media that we left behind in the dust.

I can’t promise that The Patronizer will be the funniest new sitcom of the fall season. As it stands, Fox Television merely bought the pilot script, then told the little prick they hired to rewrite it to make my character more accessible and turn my twins into a single kid played by twin actors so they can get around child labor laws. Apparently shooting the test pilot is contingent on William Shatner’s availability. Big name prodco prez assures me that the network still loves “the arena.” I don’t know what that means and he won’t tell me. He won’t tell me much of anything since I signed the contract. It’s really insulting when someone acts like they know more than you about everything.

The important thing to remember is that no one else in this world can define you. Unless they pay you.

As I understand it, the check is in the mail.


Useful Links to the Subject

http://bcove.me/rliptnfj


Video Nook

A blog allows you to upload videos you find on the internet. Here's this week's embedding: